TRiO Works

California's Recession

I was watching the news tonight and the Governator said that we our in time of financial crisis. That's pretty obvious! Look at California's unemployment rate, closing down of businesses, and hundreds of foreclosures - does that not give you a hint? The Governator goes to blame the lawmakers for not coming up with any compromise in passing a budget that would bridge the gap of how much California owe and to build some revenue. He says if he has the power, he'd lock both parties, Democrats and Republicans, until they agreed on a sound budget. Taxpayers lose $470 every second, $2800 every minute, $1.7 million every house, $40 million every day as long as the lawmakers do not agree on a budget. Here's an idea STOP PAYING THE LAWMAKERS!!! until they get their act together. Almost, always financial budgetary cuts affects those among lowest rank state workers - i.e. janitors, university employees, etc... Why not put the burden onto the lawmakers so they know how important this is to the people that they are serving. Maybe, they won't have their fancy dinners, they're morning latte's, and their jet trips on the backs of taxpayers. Oh wait, but the lawmakers still would not feel the money crunch since they're pockets are supported by special interests!

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today, I was a kid again. I fully immersed in enjoying my time with my niece. I looked like a fool running around at chuck e cheese. oh we'll, it was all worth it. hopefully she can stay as innocent as she is as long as possible. as young as she is, I am able to learn from she teaches me. love, life for the moment, and always be a kid at heart!

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wow! theres definitely some times that I get tunnel vision and end up focused on what my wants are and to go through of the mishaps of what is not working well in my life. however, looking back into the my experience of the pass few days I am reminded how truly blessed I am.

this past saturday, I was able watch the culmination of 3 years of labor of putting together the documentary of the Manongs, a documentary based on the first wave Filipino immigrants of sonoma county. this documentary was able to bear fruit thanks to the hard work of the children of the manongs. most of the folks who worked on this project were the daughters of the manongs and I am blessed to have been surrounded by these powerful women! they probably will never know but I have learned so much from them. I am thankful that I was alowed to be in there presence.

this past few days has also renewed my passion for what I do as a job. actually, I wouldn't want to call ajob as I am doing what I love for a career. in an case, just being around such great individuals who identify, shape, and advocate for youths who have endless potential is simply amazing! what little part I did for the conference turned out to be such a great experience and a confidence builder. in some aspects, I was a part of every aspects of the behind the scenes work of the whole conferene. but what I pride myself the most is being able to be part of fundraising for scholarships for program students. we raised over $1200 through drawing prices and yes! through kareoke performances! great conference. great people. great experience. also, this conference gave me the booze to know that I have made the right choice changing working environment. I am blessed for such a great opportunity!

in addition, I watch history happen today as barrack obama became the US president elect. he brings new hope and new energy! just looking through this election process spirits have been awoken as debates were happening through emails, phone conversations, and other means. a surge of people were got themselves involve with the world of politics and took back their power - the power to tell stop compalinin and take action! both sides of aisles were engaged - young and old, men and women, heterosexuals and homosexuals, majority and minorities, conservatives, democrats, and independents, blacks, whites, latinos, asians, immigrants, citizens, FILIPINOS - all emerge to plug into the political arena and its a beautiful sight! I am blessed to have witnessed history!

simply put, I AM VERY BLESSED!

it all seems like a dream

this change - this move to a familiar yet new environment seems like a dream. it all happened too fast as I ask the world to slow down and let me catch up. im scared that apart of me has died and parts of me will die. however, I know parts of me will continue to grow. maybe this change is all to new which seemes likes its too fast. after all I never left sonoma county for I have left my roots there

letting go

letting go is the art of true freedom
but, the most challeging action to achieve

Distraction

$15 for haircut
$28 for a carwash
$3.85 for a chai latte
all distractions of what's really to be looked at
the uneasiness of being alone with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings
causes to distract from what's real
but to live is to face these uneasiness

Prettiest Friend - Jason Mraz

Prettiest Friend - Jason Mraz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIZmDHPqGl4

This is what I look like today
And I'm trying not to pull out my hair
I'm trying not to show it 'cause I'm far too shy to grow it back there
That's probably why I like wearing hats
There's no denying I'm deferring the facts
Avoiding confrontation
Lacks tact in a situation
Behind every line is a lesson yet to learn

But if you ask me
The feeling that I'm feeling is overwhelming
And oh, it goes to show
I've so much to know

I wrote this for my prettiest friend
Who while trying not to prove that I care
Trying not to make all my moves in one motion and scare her away
Well she can't see she's making me crazy now
I don't believe she knows she's amazing how
She has me holding my breathe
So I'd never guess that I'm a none such unsuitable, suited for her

But if you ask me
The feeling that I'm feeling is complimentery
And oh, it goes to show
The moral of the story is boy loves girl
And so on the way that it unfolds is yet to be told

I know that I should be brave
Even pretty can be seen by the blind
I know that I cannot wait
Until the day we finally learn how to find each other
Redefining open minds

And if you ask me
The feeling that I'm feeling is overjoyed
And it's golden, it goes to show then
The ending of this song should be left alone
And so on 'cause the way it unfolds is yet to be told

In the midst of transition...

In the midst of transition from - one space to the next; from one job to the next; from reality to the next - there more questions than answers. But, all I have to do is ride the waves and see where life takes me... I'm trusting the process as I learn and re-learn to exhale and take it all in strides.

Working

I've just got out of another work meeting and as my experience proved before, it was just another unproductive meeting. folks had their own agenda; I know I certainly had mine. 

An agenda of thinking that I'm trap in a monotony of daily routine. Sure, on paper my job sounds good.  I am helping youths from low-income families to be the first one in their family to receive higher education.  I love what I do. However, I hate the bureaucracy that I have to face in order to get to do what I love of helping others - all I want is to have pagmamalasakit. However, my spirit is being broken from the meetings, from the co-workers who are after their own entitlement of western achievements. You can have your fancy titles - Executive Director, Director, or Assistant Director - but at what cost. You claim to be in this job to help the youth, but your first priority is your accumulation of matters associated with the westernized world...

I don't want to be regimented in how to assist in helping these youths.  Professional attire, customer service, or what time I clock in does not dictate my passion to help. I could be in shorts, tang-top, and sandals and still be an expert in getting these youths in the college of their choice.  I will not be defined by your standards ... no daily ironed clothes or well kept organized office can tell me who I am .... besides maybe the cleaner your outside world that you have the dirtier the materials that your are hiding within you...

currently... taking a big sigh and letting go ... breathe in... hold it.... and out... 

roller coaster

its been a whirlwind of emotions for the past couple of days. there's definitely many ups and dips. definitely, the ups are emotional high as close to ecstasy i could've received or would perceived. but, i must warn myself that these highs are created by desires and such are momentarily "happiness" in this lifetime... however, "what's more important: pursuing one thousand desires or just conquering just one?"

my dips were definitely, when my desires weren't met or my expectations were not achieved. i spent my weekend with the most beautiful person I could imagine... although she possess physical beauty... what's even more beautiful is what she possess how she this world... the world that is lived in and not what is perceived as... i can her as my life partner both spiritually and wordly, somehow i'm not so sure if the universe perceive it the same way...

worth a try

i've been reading blogs of people i know and i've always wanted to write. however, there's always that thought... the anti-thesis to getting anything done... the BUT part... i want to write BUT am i good enough? i want to write BUT will the grammar be perfect? i want to write BUT am i going to be judged for what i say? well, to the BUT part... i say fuck you!!! for i am the only that set limits, for you are not real, although you may be part of me... you are not ME...

so i say it's worth a try... ehh... at end there's no one else to talk to but my own head... does that sound crazy? maybe! but, our society has taught us not to listen ourselves... we are constantly being distracted... whether it would be the tube playing "reality tv," the scare tactics of the news, and the politicians telling you what and how you should think!!! i may not fully unplug from this system but at least i owe to myself to listen to me once in awhile... so blogging hear i come... i will write with no worries of grammar... just to listen to me... whether i rant, rave, or just be...